Confessions of a Vegan: Part I

My New Year’s resolution for 2018 was simply to be a “better vegan,” and for the first three months of this year, I’d say I was doing pretty good. As far as I know, I hadn’t indulged in any non-vegan foods, nor purchased any non-vegan beauty products, clothes, etc. However, recently, I have failed to meet my goal of being a “better vegan.” Here are some of the mistake I’ve made as a vegan in 2018:

I ate a piece of steak. Yes, you read that right. This was probably the most frightening non-vegan thing I’ve done in the past three years. I have accidentally bitten into two dishes that contained chicken since becoming a vegetarian in 2015, but I had yet to make the mistake of eating the flesh of a fuzzy animal. At a lunch meeting at work (Side note: Why do these things always happen at work?), we requested food from Noodles, one of my favorite junk food chains. This was exciting because it meant I wouldn’t have to default to my usual salad: I ordered the Japanese Pan Noodles with tofu. However, it should be noted that these noodles traditionally come with steak. When I got my food at the meeting, I was eating away, until I realized that the most recent piece of tofu I put in my mouth did not taste like tofu. It reminded me of something I hadn’t tasted in years: steak. Well, no going back now, and yes, I felt like I was going to puke for the remainder of the day.

I ate honey—doctor’s orders. Only a few days after going on my trip to England, I contracted Influenza B. Unfortunately, I didn’t know it until about four days into the illness: I had went back to work for about two days, and on my second day, I started experiencing a very sudden bout of chills (It should be noted that my first symptom of the flu was a 102° F fever…). My chills were so bad that when I pulled my car into my garage after work, I actually crashed into the garage wall. After about an hour of trying to see if I could get myself back to normal, I realized that my symptoms were bad enough to constitute a trip to the doctor, so my husband drove me to an Urgent Care across the street. When the nurse took my vitals, she made a serious face and walked out of the room: You know it’s not good when they won’t even tell you what your vital signs are. It turns out I had a 103° F fever, and by the end of my visit, they had brought my heart rate down to a lower 130 bpm—as someone with an average bpm of about 68 bpm, this was very abnormal. The doctor told me to take time off from work and to drink honey in my tea, and I did. I felt so crappy that I don’t have many regrets about this one, but I doubt the honey helped much.

I bought a purse with leather zipper pulls. I’m probably the most ashamed about this one. I’ve really been wanting a smaller messenger bag that I could use as a purse, something that I could fit my iPad mini into but also some lipstick and my wallet. I also wanted a cross-body bag that I could easily access and use for travel. Finally, I wanted it to be brown but not made of leather. It turns out that finding a purse that fits this description is a bit trickier than I had thought. I turned to Amazon, as this seemed like the easiest place to browse through a wide variety of bags. To my disappointment, most messenger bags are fairly large, or at least large enough to carry a laptop, and that’s not what I wanted: I wanted something relatively petite. When I finally reached the corner of Amazon containing bags to my liking, I found that most of them were over $30, and I wanted to spend less than $20, if I could. Then, I found the one, and it was only $17: Add to cart, checkout, and go. When the purse arrived, it was exactly as the image had portrayed itself to be but with one added embellishment: leather zipper pulls. I returned to the Amazon page, which advertised these zipper pulls in a fairly obvious manner. Oops.

I’m obviously not the perfect vegan, and perhaps blog posts like these are what make some vegans seem hypocritical, but as I have mentioned in previous posts, I don’t want to create an absurd image that I am the ultimate, ideal vegan. Every person makes mistakes, and in this way, every vegan is going to make mistakes. I will always be on the journey to making better choices in the future and, hopefully, I’ll have less “vegan confessions” to share in the future, but for now, it is what it is. Have you made any vegan mistakes recently? Make your confessions in the comments.

The featured photo was taken by Kristina Flour. Find more of her work at


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